The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Welcome back my handful of followers. I apologize for my lack of updates over the last few weeks. Its not that I was too busy to write or anything, I just didn't feel like it... But I do now.

We had a day game this afternoon, which is over. 7-5 victory. My gym session has come and gone and now I've got a couple hours before my bedtime comes so why not over-saturate the internet with a super long blog post.. actually I'm not sure how long this will be.. Here we go!


The Good

I made a few goals for myself before coming to Ohio for the summer: One was to get better at baseball, another was to get a killer tan, another one was to eat a lot, go to Cedar Point (I dare you to check out the website, let alone ride some of the rides http://www.cedarpoint.com/), and resister a 10 out of 10 on the fun scale. Not necessarily in that order. A couple of those goals I may or may not have just made up on the spot, but regardless, its roughly 65% of the way through the season so I figure its time for some mid-season evaluation.

Have I gotten better at baseball? Good question. I don't know. Let's go to the next one.

Do I have a killer tan? No.

One of the many blessings of playing baseball is developing the most exquisite of farmer tans. I for one am not a fan of the farmers tan. While it does suit some very well, I am not one of them. So I decided to take action. Instead of sleeping until 2pm everyday, reporting to the field for baseball activities around 3pm, games at 7pm, and ventures to Anytime Fitness around 1 or 2am, I now set my alarm to arise around the modest hour of 9am (which means I eventually roll out of bed around 9:30 - sometimes later). After a nice breakfast and brief stay on the outdoor patio I head out for the gym and usually make it back by noon. This leaves me 3 hours for premium outdoor relaxation. Fear not, I have a plethora of SPF products that offer both UVA and UVB protection. So my tan is coming, just very slowly.

Have I eaten a lot? Yes!

After staying with my Uncle Terry and Aunt Monica in nearby Amherst, OH through the first 3 weeks of June I have made the arranged move to my Uncle Ray and Aunt Sharon's home in Lorain. Quick side note - all of my relatives, cousins, aunts, and uncles have been incredibly hospitable to me throughout this whole extravaganza so in case any of them had the endurance to read this far into this post, let be known that I am VERY appreciative.

Anyways Uncle Ray and Aunt Sharon's compound features a luxurious basement bedroom featuring the most comfortable futon in North America. Outdoor amenities include an above-ground swimming pool, all-weather wooden deck with multiple seating arrangements and shielding sun umbrellas, hammock, grill, covered open air cabana equipped with all-weather patio furniture, multiple wind chimes, and television set.

97.6% of that 12-3pm window is spent outside in the backyard.

On top of all this, Uncle Ray is an expert grill master. Which is good because I've been known to do some damage on refrigerators. Pork, chicken, corn, potatoes, beans, and watermelon - can't forget the watermelon - ribs - can't forget the ribs either - burgers, bratwurst.. you name it, he's made it. He runs a golf club fitting business out of his shop. I told him he needs to stop and create his own show on the food network.

Have I gone to Cedar Point? Yes!

2 in a row we're on a roll here. Two weeks ago we had an off day on a Monday so a couple teammates and I ventured to Sandusky (40 minute drive) and took on some fierce roller coasters. I'm not sure if I would go on some of those rides again.

Does the fun scale read 10 out of 10? Almost.

Pretty close as a matter of fact. Selfishly the only thing keeping the fun scale from a 10 is probably my own performance in baseball. I've said before all the kids and coaches on the team are fantastic and were winning a lot of games so overall the whole experience has been a great one, but it could be upgraded to ultra-great if I contributed a little more.

And I actually have done a little better as of late. After collecting just 9 hits in my first 63 at-bats I've had 10 in my last 26. I think we have 17 games left. If we win our division over the second half of the season we make the playoffs. We're currently tied for first with 5 wins and 3 losses for the second half.

Everybody is playing pretty well for the most part. We had a league-high 8 players make the all-star game that was played last week in West Virginia. Shockingly I didn't make it with my .150 average. We all have our eyes set on the playoffs so we can parade down Meister road in the backs of pick-up trucks hoisting the Prospect League trophy. Its not clear if such a trophy even exists.. but that's not important.

______________

In other news, my mother and my sister are here for a visit. My mom's sister lives in nearby Lyndhurst, OH, her brother is also in town visiting from Florida. It’s practically a Draper/Tomaszewski family reunion up here.

Mom is close to 3/4's of the way through her chemotherapy treatments and still handling everything like a BOSS. When things are going bad for me I always think to myself that things can always be worse. It’s humbling. So among other things, her cancer has been a great lesson for appreciating the things you do have and not taking anything for granted.



The Bad

BLANK!


The Ugly

A few games ago I had a rough game. I'd had a string of good games leading up to this one so this game was exceptionally frustrating because I thought I had turned the corner.

Anyways, after my second strikeout of the night I was furious. That humbling thought I just mentioned in the last paragraph that often comes to mind during bad times.. that thought didn't come this time.

So I steam into the dugout absolutely fuming but I try to keep myself under control. I gently slide my helmet into the helmet cubby thing, take my batting gloves off rather cordially, but then I can't help it anymore and figure that releasing stress is better than keeping it bottled up inside.

I look to my left and see the bat rack. It’s made of wood and nailed at about hip level on the concrete wall. A perfect target. I take my bat, which is still in hand, and slide it into the one of the vertically fitting holes of the bat rack. Then I raise it up out of its hole and jackhammer it back down, breaking the bottom piece of wood that keeps the bats in place. I suggest you all try it sometime. Plus it was hilarious because I missed the first couple of tries.

At school, in case anyone is wondering, I am the LeTourneau University Baseball active leader in career ejections with 2.

I can't imagine Coach Harriss being anything other than thrilled with that statistic. I'm not sure what the all time career record is but if it's 3, then you better believe I'm going for it.


Semi-cool pics below..

West Virginia

I rarely look forward to any time I have to set my alarm clock before 10am. This past Thursday was only a minor exception. At the time we were in 2nd place, 3 games behind the 1st place West Virginia Miners with a chance to take the lead with our next 4 games at their place. Beating a good team four consecutive times on the road is a near-impossible chance, but the series still brought a great opportunity to make up some ground.

And so came my first pre 10am awakening in weeks. Like a moron I stayed up late the night before doing absolutely nothing. The alarm came at 7, I grabbed my travel bag which was strategically packed the night before, threw my glasses on, drank some milk, headed outside to my car, headed back inside to grab the keys to my car, came back outside, drove to our home field (The Pipe Yard, see below), hopped on the bus and slowly fell back into a rather uncomfortable sleep.



I had never been to West Virginia before. I found it pretty scenic. Lots of tree covered hills and foresty areas. It looked like Jurasic Park could have been filled there. The trip was 7 hours, plenty of time for both napping and sight seeing.. as well as eating, word games, card games, and of course the signature Lorain County Ironmen bus ride activity – singing. Coaches hate it, [most] players love it. Perfect combo. The current unwritten rule is if we win, anything goes. If we lose, we have to act somber for about an hour or so… then anything goes.

By the time we pulled up to the stadium around 5 for the 7 o’clock game, it had already felt like a long day.

West Virginia had a similar situation a couple weeks ago when they came up to play us for two games. We waxed them the first night 17-3, but they came back to beat us the next night.

On top of that, word on the street was that WV had some of the best home field advantage in the league. Big, rowdy crowds, nice stadium (see below), video highlight screen, premier audio system.. pretty much the works. They were 6-6 on the road, but a perfect 7-0 at home. We had our work cut out for us.


About an hour and a half before game time the first wave of fans comes through the gates. Among them, a 6’6 300 pound man sporting a full miner costume. Construction hat and coal blemished face in all. His deep bellowing voice was a constant presence in all 4 games.

Surprisingly we jumped out to an early lead in game one, but couldn’t hold on and eventually lost 10-7.

The next day we show up for batting practice around 4 and are greeted with a continuous loop of three songs during our 1 hour batting practice session, all from the 1950s era and all about coal mining. I thought it was funny but many of us were trying to cover our ears. We put in another strong outing that evening and came away with a 2-0 victory. It was the Miners first loss at home that season, and first time being shut out at home, ever.

All smiles that night.

Saturday night saw another great pitching performance, another victory, and another shutout, 5-0. All smiles again, but there was a sense of reservation after this one. Everyone knew we still had work to do.

The overall mood and atmosphere of our ensuing 7 hour bus ride home hinged on our performance in the final game of the series Sunday afternoon. The second team meal at Cici’s in three days had taken a toll on some, but the Ironmen grinded out another victory, this time by the score of 6-5.

From a team perspective it was an excellent weekend as we moved just one game behind WV for first place in the division. From a personal standpoint my struggles continued. Of the 4 games I started 2 and came off the bench in another. Played some good defense at 1st base but couldn’t put it together at the plate. I can’t remember the last time I’ve done this poorly for this long but like everything in life, it’s a learning experience. As long as I can look in the mirror and say that I’ve given it everything I’ve had, then I’m okay with whatever happens. And so far I can say that.

Today was a much-needed day off which I used to lay by the pool and take a mini shopping spree – putting my Mom’s best advice to use “Never pay full price for anything!”

Thanks Mom.

Were back on the field at home tomorrow night at 7pm. See below for some sweet pictures.


Batting Drills with Michael Grieco


Always Joking About Something


Sam Alvis (left), Michael Burke (right) and Me practicing our game faces


Gameface.. Loading.. 100% complete


Great Signage at the West Virginia Stadium

Trial and Error

If there’s one thing I've learned from my first two weeks here: I really better make sure I pay attention in class my senior year because its pretty clear that any kind of baseball career isn’t going to work out.

I got off to a blistering 0-13 start at the plate through the first 3 games – all of which we lost. I had a small hitting streak over the next few games but now the dust has settled. About 15 games have come and gone, my batting average is below .200 (which is awful for anyone who doesn’t follow baseball) and I haven’t checked but there’s a good possibility I lead the entire league in strikeouts.

On the bright side all of the guys are great, can’t complain about a single one. Someone is always joking around about something. The coaching staff is pretty laid back as well, which is nice because drill sergeant coaches are that much more annoying when its 99 degrees outside.

After losing the first three games we have rebounded to win six of the next nine and are now 9-9 overall. Tied for 2nd place in our 6 team division.

Summer baseball is always an interesting phenomenon. Usually nobody cares about winning or loosing since it’s not the NCAA season and there isn’t any college world series for the best teams to go to. All the kids want to do is sleep all day, show up 30 minutes before the game, get their hits, and leave.

And to be honest that used to be my exact approach.. besides, it’s summer, who cares? But after three seasons of struggle and frustration at school, I have finally developed a passion and desire for winning.

Everybody says they hate to lose. Obviously nobody likes to lose but I feel that people don’t appreciate winning enough. People always say, “Act like you’ve done it before.” That’s garbage. At least to me it is. If I’m going to tote my rear end around all day for something, hours of practice, hours in the weight room, hours of sleeping and napping to make sure I can be energized for practice and gym sessions….. all of that time and effort put in to something, if we end up winning, you bet your keester I’m going to enjoy myself and enjoy the moment. You go ahead and walk off the field with your straight face. I’m going to express my emotions however I want to because I’ve put in the time and effort, and I’ve deserved it. And if some people think I’m an idiot for that, well than I guess that’s what I am.

If we can’t enjoy winning at baseball or any other sport, or if we can’t enjoy our successes in any aspect of life, if we simply “act like we’ve been there before”… why do we work so hard for the things we want most in life if we act like we don’t want them the moment we get them. I don’t see the point.

I’ve always been a fan of Chad Johnson if anyone is wondering. He gets it… in my opinion anyways.

So back to what I was saying. Even though it’s just ‘summerball’ and technically doesn’t count for anything, and even though I’m in the midst of one of the worst baseball performances of my life, I’m easily the most enthusiastic player on the team after we win a game. But the other guys, they’re starting to coming around.

My highest moment came about 5 games ago. We were down 2-1 in the 7th inning with 2 outs with the tying run on 2nd base. I came in and tied the game with a pinch hit double down the right field line. We won in 13 innings.

Felt great to finally help the team out for once.

Looking at the big picture, I can’t complain about a single thing – besides the lack of leg room on the team bus. Traveling on a bus from town to town, hanging around the guys all the time and playing baseball everyday.. it pretty much does feel like playing in the minor leagues – something I know I’ll probably never experience.

I know Ill look back on these three to four years as one of the best times of my life. Everyone has some type of regret about something. It’s practically inevitable.. But wishing I had more fun is something I know I won’t be able to say.

Another thing people like to say, that “You never know what you’ve got ‘til its gone.” That one is garbage too. I know what I’ve got, and I’m making sure I enjoy every moment of it before its gone.



Here's a picture of me waiting on deck. Click to enlarge.

Palm to Pine

Well I made it in one piece (in case you were wondering Mom). The car on the other hand…. well yeah that made it in one piece as well.

I was rudely awakened by my 5am alarm this past Friday in order to catch my 8am flight to Dallas/Ft. Worth where I would then scavenge for food – and a place to nap – as I awaited my short flight to Longview, Tx. From there I was graciously picked up from the airport by LeTourneau University All Conference Shortstop Dustin Varnado and driven to campus where I would pick up my car which had been baking in the 95 degree humidity for about 3 weeks.

Question: Was it hot when I got in my car? Answer: Yes.

I enjoyed a relaxing evening and prepared myself once again for that treacherous 5am alarm. The next morning I once again set out for a day of travel, this time by coche (Spanish for car).

Two flights, and 17 hours on the road had finally carried me from the Palm Trees of Southern California to the expansive pine forests of the Upper Midwest in Lorain, Ohio.

I could tell my parents were a little uneasy/scared out of their minds with me driving that far by myself. They made multiple efforts to find me a travel companion – “what about this person, they can drive with you and we’ll pay to fly them back.. what if I flew with you then drove up.. what about this, what about that.” I held steady.

I love driving by myself. The freedom of the open road as they say. Everyone likes their alone time and for me, long-distance driving is the most peaceful form. I can be quiet, I can be loud, I can listen to whatever I want, sing as much as I want, stop wherever I want…

Anyways, I just like it. It’s a perfect time for me to relax and have time to myself. As much as I like being rowdy and rambunctious with a group of friends, I also like to unwind and just hangout alone.

My parents were sure worried though. ‘Space shuttle mission’ they called it – constant contact. Weird-os.. oh well, I love them.


For anyone interested on the drive itself, Arkansas had the cheapest gas ($3.40), Memphis was the coolest city, Nashville was the biggest city, Kentucky had the best scenery (even real live dinosaurs), Cincinnati had the mean cops, and Columbus/Cleveland had all the rain.



I have arrived in Lorain, Ohio, a small suburb about 30 minutes West of Cleveland and yes, they are all Mavs fans for the next two weeks.

So now that I’m here, what exactly am I doing? Well somehow I finagled my way onto a baseball team in an elite collegiate summer league. The premise is simple. When school lets out for the summer, NCAA baseball players need a place to play to stay sharp and improve in some areas of their game.

Over the years numerous leagues have sprung up all over the country. Some have gained a reputation for having better players than others. For example, The Alaskan League and the Cape Cod League (New England region) are widely recognized as the top two leagues in the country. Since the best players play in those leagues, thousands of professional baseball scouts flock to those areas over the summer to follow the nations best talent. The better the league, the more the scouts come to watch, which means if you’re good enough, it betters your chances are of being recognized by Major League organizations and moving on the next level after college.

While I’m not in the Alaskan or Cape Cod league, the Prospect League isn’t far behind. The league has been around for over 30 years of something like that, and has had over 175 players once play in the Prospect League and go on to play in the Major Leagues (notables include Ryan Howard, Jonathan Papelbon, and even old school guys like Mike Schmidt and Kirby Puckett). And those are just Major League guys. Hundreds, if not thousands more have gone on to play Minor League baseball.. something I could only dream of at this point.

The league is comprised of 15 teams over the Upper Midwest (map below) and has mostly Division I NCAA players. My team (Lorain County Ironmen) for example has players from Ohio State, Kent State, and even Texas Tech in recent years. Other teams in the league have players from TCU, Georgia Tech, Vanderbilt, Miami, Michigan State and other places.. All of which are Division I schools. And then there’s little Nate from little LeTourneau.




We’ve had three official practices so far. Brutally long and hot. The first day was a little awkward. I could tell everyone was trying to size each other up. I felt small for the first time in a long time. Pretty much everyone has a better build than I do. They throw harder, run faster, and field better but after these few days I think I might be able to hit almost as well. Time will tell. Even if I only get in 10 games this summer I figure all the days of practice and being surrounded by players better than I am will make me a better player. Time will tell.

Oh, I also volunteered to be one of the representatives for the team in last weekends Memorial Day parade. We needed 4 players and no one really wanted to so I said what the heck. Our job was to pass out flyers for our home opener this Friday night but I spent most of the time petting people’s dogs and giving little kids high fives. I definitely have Division I talent in those areas.

First game is this Thursday, June 2 in Slippery Rock, PA and if anyone is really that bored you can keep with all the games at lcironmenbaseball.com and prospectleague.com.

Who am I?

I’m loud. I’m obnoxious... I’m quiet. I’m reserved... I’m smart. I’m cunning... I’m moronic and stupid... I’m strong. I’m tough… I’m weak and I’m fragile… I’m tireless and dedicated… I’m lazy and untalented.. I’m respectful.. I’m defiant. I’m energetic and outgoing. I’m boring and shy. I’m courageous. I’m timid. I’m a leader. I’m a follower.

I am everything, and I am nothing.

Not many people understand me. I don’t even think my own parents understand me, and I don’t have a problem with that. I’m fully aware that there is a good number of people who think I am the most annoying, obnoxious, and intolerable person they know (or at least in the top 3). I’m not that stupid. I see people’s reactions and I hear the things they say even if they don’t think I do.

But again, I don’t have a problem with that.

Over the last couple of years I’ve developed a very simple outlook on life. Since coming to LeTourneau University I have learned to open up and simply be myself. I’ve learned not to take things personally and to make my own happiness. Obviously everybody wants to be accepted and liked, and so do I. But I’m not going to change who I am, act the way other people want me to act, or say the things other people want me to say to gain that acceptance. I tried that for a long time and I most likely still would be if I hadn’t come to this school. These nerds, the ones we all like to make fun of and look down upon,.. they’re the ones that have it right.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but there came a point in my life when I decided to free myself. I decided I was going to let myself go and defy the normal decorum of life and be a lunatic because that’s primarily what I am. I don’t do it in the name of being defiant or rebellious, I do it because that’s who I am and what I do. I’m not different just to be different. I’m different because I am different.

So who am I?

I’m a product of two recently divorced parents. And by recently I mean like 3 days ago recently. We just sold and moved out of the house I had grown up in from the time I was 7 years old. I’m not looking for sympathy.. lots of parents are divorced (not to justify it or deem it as acceptable). Anyways, It’s been ongoing for about a year now but my Mom and Dad both lived at home until the sale of our house just 3 days ago.

Not that I was ignoring it, but I never gave the situation much thought since nothing had seemed any different to me. Plus I was away at school for 9 months out of the year. But there sure isn’t any dismissing it now.

The house was practically empty during the last couple days. It was weird. I laid in the jacuzzi one last time during the final night. I tried to think about my earliest memory in the house. 90% of the things I could think of related to sports in some way, whether it be playing floor hockey with by Dad, or my Grandpa trying to teach me how to catch balls instead of running away from them, or my mom taking my to and from school and practices practically every day of the week. I miss being a kid.

When I was finally done reminiscing the thing I thought about most was birthdays. I had 14 of them in that house and at every single one there would always be someone that asked that stupid question, “So do you feel any older?”

The answer was always no.

But after that night when I thought about everything in that empty house, for the first time I can now say, I feel older..

It doesn’t bother me.. the whole divorce thing. And if it did I would tell people. Its just life. Make your own happiness.

I’m also a product of my environment. From ages 14-15 I grew 7 inches in 19 months. All of the sudden I was tall and lanky and I had no idea what to do with these long arms and legs. I was gawky and unathletic and when I finally made my high school baseball team during sophomore year I was an easy target: The new kid, less talented, and funny looking. Also known as the Trifecta of Doom. In all honesty it wasn’t that bad. I never went home and cried myself to sleep and never wanted to either. I actually consider most of those guys good friends. I just wasn’t as cool and was given a hard time from time to time.

My sophomore and junior years of high school I was awful at baseball. God-awful. I still scratch my head at times as to how I even made the team. Anyways long story short I made varsity my senior year not because I deserved it, but because you weren’t allowed to put seniors on the JV team. But I used those guys on the team who gave me grief as motivation to get better. I grew into my body a little and slowly improved. Soon the guys on the team started to see me as a peer not just the tall skinny kid who sucked. And that help me be myself a little more too – and looking back, that was the key to everything. I felt less pressure at practices and actually felt like the guys were rooting for me instead of against me. We made the CIF Division I playoffs my senior year and I started both playoff games after being subjected primarily to scrub time during the previous 30 or so games that season.

In coming to LeTourneau and being on the baseball team I felt instantly accepted. I had a fresh start in a new place where nobody knew how gawky or unathletic or untalented I once was. But at the same time I wouldn’t change anything about my past. From my great struggles and brief successes in high school I knew that my best chances to succeed in this place was to let everything hang out, be myself, and make the most out of every single day.


I haven’t looked back since.

Letting Loose: Try it sometime

Ahh, blogging – the place where egocentrics unite under the thinking that everyone would love to hear their life story.. because their life is so great and all.

At least that’s what I thought of blogging whenever a few people started doing it. I have enough things to worry about, who could possibly have time to read about so and so’s perfect day at the beach and trip to best buy to upgrade from a 60” flat screen to a wall mounted 78” behemoth.

Not me.

But then my mom got one (she has cancer).. so I couldn’t think of blogging like that anymore. I read her first couple entries and soon saw it as something to waste time with during class and a way to keep up with my family’s lives without having to call home every night.

Mmm, I like blogging now.

On a 100% completely unrelated note, I took an AP Psychology class my senior year of high school – mainly because I heard it was easy for an AP class and I wanted the opportunity to get college credit before I even graduated from high school. Easily the best class I have ever taken and while Psych isn’t my major I’m still fascinated with the way people think and why we do what we do. And in case anything is wondering: Psychology Principle 101 – People are so predictable.

So anyways, knowing what I know about psychology, I’ve begun thinking about how it relates to social media.

Take Facebook for example. A great way to stay connected with friends and open up to those people about who you really are. Right? Wrong. This may not be groundbreaking information here but Facebook isn’t the portal where everyone shows who they really are. Your Facebook profile isn’t who you are, it’s who you want other people to think you are. And by other people I mean the cool people, or maybe the guy or girl you wish you were dating.

I was the hugest dork in high school and still am today, so for me Facebook (and Myspace back in the day) was a way to keep up with what was ‘cool’ and what was ‘uncool.’ Through this I soon discovered that I was 90% uncool, 8% cool, and 2% retarded. So in an effort to boost my rep, when the Facebook status bar omnisciently asks me “what am I doing/thinking” I’m not going to say “Sitting at home relaxing with my parents.. man I’m so bored.. I have no friends” (even though that is exactly what I was doing and thinking) because it’s a Friday night and being at home by yourself is an ‘uncool’ think to do. Instead I would simply put nothing because no one updates their status on Friday nights anyways because they are too busy having such a great time with their friends. Bottom line is no one puts anything on Facebook that they don’t want people to see or read. Like when girls put mug shots of themselves with the caption “no makeup.. ugh I’m so ugly.” No! you don’t think your ugly you think your attractive and you put that picture up there because you know your attractive and you cant wait to read all the comments from girls saying “jealous” or guys saying “still hot” and blah blah blah.

So anyways to conclude, Facebook is merely the place you try to look cool and fit in with the in crowd, and for those who are in the in crowd then I guess it really is just a place to be yourself and show off (but I wouldn’t really know 'cause I’m not in the in crowd).

Then there is Twitter. Twitter is interesting because it’s mainly used by celebrities and fans as a way to follow those celebrities and feel like they matter. But its slowly gained momentum and now I see a good portion of average Joes using twitter not just for celebrity updates but for their own updates as well. Twitter is a little more genuine to me than Facebook. Its spontaneous and random and to me that’s just more real. I joined twitter about three years ago and used it to blow steam and pop off at the world when I was frustrated. It was whatever was left of the uncool me that hadn’t already reached the surface.. reaching the surface.

I was a caged animal when I first arrived at LeTourneau in fall of ’08. Like a wild lion being taken from his happy stomping grounds in the African desert and placed in a Zoo, I was so uncomfortable at first. This place, the people, the rules, they were like nothing I had ever experienced before. Not all of it was bad, but I needed a place to let loose so I hopped on Twitter and let all of my thoughts wander freely.. many of which would be deemed unacceptable. For the record I have come to love LeTourneau and wouldn’t change anything about it.. actually maybe a couple things.

And finally there is blogging. Blogs are real. At least this one is. You see, that inner me that is often suppressed in efforts to try to be cool and stay cool on facebook/twitter/real life/whatever else there is, that inner me, it wants out and now its being let out. Out of its cage and on the attack! ROAAR!

I don’t like to sugarcoat things. I see things for how they really are and I tell it like it is (The real me does anyways, maybe not the FB me). I know – and fully understand, that no one is going to waste their time reading every word I have to say on here. Even my friends won’t. Like I said earlier, people have their own problems and their own lives to live, why should they care about anything I have to say? That doesn’t mean they aren’t my friends. It just means that they’re people.

I would love for everyone to read this and see who I really am, but in reality there are probably only going to be 3 people in the world that end up reading anything I say on here and two of those people are my mom and my sister.

Anyways, I’ve created this blog because I am about to embark on a 2 month long extravaganza. And what is this extravaganza? Well it’s a baseball league of 15 teams ranging from Illinois, down to Nashville, Tennessee, and up to Pennsylvania that plays 55 games in roughly 65 days (more details coming). Now I realize that isn’t an extravaganza to 99% of people in the world but it is to me so I’m going to talk about it and whatever else I feel like talking about.

And I’m not doing it for you, whoever you are reading this. I’m not doing it so you can know what I’m doing and how I’m feeling. I’m doing this for me, so I can know what I’m doing and how I’m feeling. Because in this self-conscious, egocentric technotropolis of a world we live in, I think we’ve lost some of that feeling.. And I want it back.


So with all of that said, welcome to MY WORLD… The world of Red Bull (always wanted to say that).